After years and years of struggling to keep his head above water financially, Jacob Wilson decided it was time to make a move for the better. So, he joined up with Private Arrangements looking for private arrangements. It was said to be the place to find a sugar daddy. He figured he couldn’t go wrong with this organization because the name described exactly what he wanted. Jacob wasn’t expecting much, but he ended up getting more than what he ever could’ve dreamed of. Jacob started getting messages from sugar daddies very quickly, but none of them ever really felt right. Jacob wanted a deeper connection; he didn’t want to just have a superficial relationship.
Then, he met Darren (named changed for the sake of privacy). He was perfect. At first he was impressed by his net worth: over $100 million dollars. "When we met, though, it was like a spark that just blew up between us." He recounts.
Their first date started off with meeting for drinks at an upscale restaurant and ended hours later in his penthouse apartment over looking Central Park. Jacob could not believe that someone like this was on a dating website. Darren seemed too good to be true.
Fast forward a year later and they are still together. This is not a horror story of how terrible online sugar daddy dating is. Jacob never thought that he would meet someone this wonderful through online dating (or sugar daddy dating for that matter), but it’s been beyond perfect.
Jacob and Darren’s first few dates were spent in extravagant restaurants in downtown New York City. Darren took him shopping. "I swear I’ve never seen someone drop so much money in one place before." Jacob reminisces. "What he spent on me in that one shopping spree, I could’ve paid off all my student loans and had some left over. This was scary, he was so successful and he wanted to be with me. I really had to prove to him that I cared about who he was."
They took their first vacation to Napa Valley as a trial to see if they were good travel companions. They toured private vineyards, and sampled the finest wines and cheeses. The hotels they stayed at were the ultimate in luxury. Jacob swears he had died and gone to Heaven at this point, but little did he know that this was only the beginning.
23% of sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships end up being happy and committed relationships. Most of them lasts longer than a year.
As they started to get to know each other more, the relationship soon went from tiny shopping trips and weekend vacations to week long trips to Europe. Darren even helped Jacob move into a better place to live.
Jacob talked with him so many times about why he wanted to be a sugar daddy versus being a boyfriend. Darren didn’t think he was confident enough or funny enough or attractive enough to compete. This was definitely not true. Darren felt that as a sugar daddy, at least he could control the situation a bit more. He also told Jacob that this wasn’t his first sugar baby relationship; this was just the first one to work out. Darren wanted someone who didn’t ask for anything.
"That is the key. Do not ask your sugar daddy for money or trips or shopping sprees. Just be with them. Just because this is a sugar baby relationship, does not mean that this is not a relationship. That is the number one thing we learned from all this. Men do not want to be asked for money. They want to just be with their sugar baby who lets them do the spoiling. The more you ask for it, the more it will turn the sugar daddy off." Jacob admits.
What has Jacob learned about being in a sugar daddy relationship? The most important point is that it’s not all about the sex. While, yes, that is a part of it, sex is not the main part. The part of being in a sugar daddy relationship is the connection you share with other person. The musical RENT tells it best with the phrase,"Be my lover and I’ll cover you."While Angel was not a rich sugar daddy, it speaks volumes about how when you love someone, you want to take care of them. Tom Collins never asked Angel for money; he just wanted to love him. Is not that what we all want in the end? Jacob stated.
Jacob will be the first to admit that he did not sign up to PrivateArrangements.com expecting to meet the man of his dreams. He just wanted to know where to meet a sugar daddy. Jacob expected to meet someone who would just take him out a few times, show him off, and give him some money to be his boyfriend. What he found was so much more than that. Jacob lucked out. Jacob was the exception to the rule.
Jacob worked hard to make the relationship work. He put in the man hours and waited for Darren to fall in love with him. Now the idea of not being with Darren just seems crazy. Not being a sugar baby just doesn’t suit Jacob’s lifestyle anymore.
When Jacob told some of his closest friends that he was becoming a sugar baby, no one could understood why. He thought that some of his closest friends would understand, but was disappointed that they did not understand his motivation. They actually judged him negatively for the decision. 35% of sugar babies claim to have lost friends in their first year of being one.
"You’re living a lie". Jacob heard that comment quite frequently."He’s never gonna be with you forever." That was another favorite comment that people liked to use when talking about his relationship with Darren.
"I wanted to tell all of them to buzz off, but couldn’t. At first, I figure there was some truth to what they were saying but after a while I knew they weren’t right," Jacob states.
"He’s paying you for sex, that makes you a prostitute." Jacob heard this comment far too often and this was from almost everyone who knew — even the ones who were cool with him being a sugar baby.
It is true that Darren compensates him both financially and with gifts and trips, but this does not mean that he is Darren’s prostitute; he doesn’t own Jacob. Far from it. He gets something out of this too. Jacob gets him. Darren gets to spend his days (and nights) with Jacob, and he doesn’t ‘require‘ sex.
Jacob doesn’t owe Darren anything for paying his student loans. In this day and age and with student loans being as high and ridiculous as they are, if Darren has the extra cash and wants to spoil Jacob by helping him out, what is the harm in that? It certainly is better than working two jobs and still not be able to get a nice car or buy a house one day. Financially beneficial relationships are now increasingly becoming the modern way of dating.
Jacob never even dreamed of telling his parents or family. They were accepting of him being gay, but being conservative and religious, it was very difficult for him to come out to them about his sexual orientation. When Darren and Jacob decided to get official and commit to their relationship, Jacob wanted to introduce him to his family. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of Darren, but he didn’t want to create a difficult situation for everyone. So he lied and told his family that they met at a bar. The dinner went better than expected and his family was happy he found someone.
It took some time, but he did eventually tell them the truth. Unfortunately, they were quite upset. In fact, they said all the same things that everyone had said to him many times before. However, when Jacob told them that this relationship was the best one he had ever been in and that they were in love, his family’s response improve greatly.
Jacob found that knowing where to find a sugar daddy and linking up with Private Arrangements was the best thing he ever did. While there are some rules for dating a sugar daddy, they don’t apply to everyone. Jacob told us that signing up with Private Arrangements was the best thing to ever happen to him and it’s where to find a sugar daddy that’s perfect for you.
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