Seeking private arrangements has become more and more popular throughout the years. Some statistical data from a website named privatearrangements.com has announced that the number of American people engaging in this kind of arrangement has gone up over 25% in the past three years alone. The site also boasts that the number of male sugar babies is one of the highest growing categories on their site. They state that what was once a measly 1% of the members has become 5% in just one year.
What many tend to think of when they hear the term of a male sugar baby is some young, passive, and good looking boy-toy happy to serve momma to get a little cash in their pocket and some experience in the bedroom under their belt. It’s easy to see the appeal of hooking up with an assertive woman. They know what they want and they’re going to get it with or without anyone else. The concept of seeking private arrangements is nothing new, but more and more people are becoming interested.
According to a recent survey, approximately 4% of the American population is actively seeking private arrangements. Out of the Sugar Babies that responded to the survey, only 2% of them are male sugar babies. Most of the male sugar babies are seeking a Sugar momma to help them get through school and cover the costs of their business venture. Take Jack for instance, a young design student that had come to New York City from France. The idea of becoming a male sugar baby came to Jack’s mind when he was talking to his friend who is a female Sugar Baby. Jack was tired of living off dimes and nickels. Tired of eating ramen every day. Just tired of never seeming to get ahead. How it came to sharing his body and his company with another woman was a tale of it’s own.
"I have a lot of friends in high places from school." Jack said. "They had fairly rich parents and often went on about their exciting adventures and life of luxury while I was still forced to count every single penny. It was so uncomfortable living like this and I was so tired of it. While I was complaining to one of my best friends, she told me about her experiences as a sugar baby."
The ratio between Male Sugar Babies in the world compared to female ones is about 1 in 40. That put’s a lot of pressure on a male Sugar Baby who is looking for their right fit. "It’s a Job," Jack said. "It’s a job and you have to fit the description or else you won’t get it."
Often it’s the stereotype of what a man should and should not do that holds back Male Sugar babies from pursuing a Sugar momma. As a society, we believe the man should be able to provide for themselves and the whole idea of exchanging my time for someone else money sounds a lot like prostitution to people who don’t fully understand what seeking private arrangements is really about.
Jack signed up for privatearrangements.com on the advice of his Sugar Baby friend. The site itself has a lot of convenience built into it including articles to help a new Sugar Baby get acquainted with what to really expect. "The community is very rich and supportive. I felt welcomed."
It is easy to still feel a bit skeptical when you are starting out. Approximately 36% of male sugar babies give up quickly if they cannot find what they are looking for within the first couple of months. Jack has been Seeking Private Arrangements for a couple of months and was happy to have found someone in an impressively short amount to time. When he signed up for privatearrangements.com, his hopes in finding someone was not high.
"I was surprised to see how many Sugar mommas were out there. I had a couple of potential Sugar mommas before I found Marlena." Jack recalled.
Marlena is an airline pilot and Jack’s Sugar Momma. As expected, she’s very busy and has a strange schedule, which was one of the reasons she was seeking private arrangements for herself. Like many private arrangements, sex is part of the relationship, but it’s not actually the point of it.
Seeking Private Arrangements is very similar to any other kind of relationship. It just isn’t exclusive. The Sugar momma and the Male Sugar Baby hang out together, go on vacations together – Jack and Marlena have been to Stockholm, Rio, London together. It’s in all actuality a lot like any other relationship. The biggest difference is the way that you communicate. It’s a lot more forward and there is no hidden expectations. You put all the expectations on the table.
"Because she is a pilot, she’ll often pay for me to join her wherever it is she’s flying to next if there’s some time to stay there before the next flight." Jack recalled. "It’s exciting to me because now I have something to talk about with my friends. It helps me have a higher standard of life."
At first, Jack thought it was going to be all about the money. As he became more involved with her, he realized it’s not even about money at all. Studies show that a lot of new Sugar Babies don’t actually understand the point of the relationship until they get involved in them. People who are Seeking Private Arrangements are looking to love life with someone and take in the fun and finer things in live.
Private arrangements are about enjoying life and helping someone else enjoy their life. A mutual benefit. The male Sugar baby’s ‘job’ is to help the Sugar momma feel young again by being engaging and youthful. "A Sugar momma wants someone who is mature, but still youthful. Someone she can connect with, but someone who has a zest and zeal for life and love. Someone who is willing to try anything once. Someone that will revitalize her."
Jack and Marlena do all sorts of things together. Like most private arrangements, they go out to nice restaurants, disappear for a retreat over the weekend, and sometimes simply enjoy a night of wine and deep discussions. Jack said. "It is all those little extra pleasures in life that have really changed everything for me. At first I thought it was a little embarrassing, but she’s been so supportive and wonderful. These are things I couldn’t afford on my own as a student and I’ve grown to really appreciate her company."
"Sometimes we see each other twice a week and sometimes we see each other twice a month," Jack explained. Many Sugar babies who have especially busy Sugar mommas connect with their momma through a variety of ways such as chatting through Skype when they can’t see each other face to face. A study done on how often Sugar babies and Sugar mommas get together face to face shared with the public that the majority of Sugar mommas only get to see their Sugar Babies about once a week on average. "It gets really sporadic, but I’m alright with that. I have my monthly allowance to keep myself occupied and content when she’s away." Jack adds.
When Jack spoke with Marlena herself about why she became a Sugar momma, out of his own curiosity he found an interesting answer. She had told him that older men want to get married and have children and she didn’t have the time for it.
This is a common reason for Sugar mommas to start their own journey into the sugar bowl. According to a 2015 study conducted by a New York University, a large percentage of college students (both male and female) are seeking sugar dating relationships. A regular relationship with a man of the Sugar momma’s age range includes the man wanting to build a stable relationship, settle in with kids, get a house, white picket fence, and live the American Dream so to speak. Young men aren’t interested in that. "That’s why she’s with me. She doesn’t have any desire to get married and settle down, she’s in it for the fun and the simple luxuries in life." Jack admitted.
Seeking Private Arrangements is like any other job, according to Jack. A Sugar momma knows what she wants, so she’ll have that description written out in her mind. It’s not just about appearances, but the general personality of her desired boy toy as well. In essence, seeking a Sugar momma as a Male Sugar Baby is much the same as applying for a job. While she has to fit the description of something you want as a sugar momma, ultimately the choice is her’s. She doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to because she has the money. That doesn’t mean that the Male Sugar Baby has no control, but at the end of the day, if he is relying on her money he has to hold up his end as much as she does.